Writer’s note: I wasn’t going to post this, but after several deaths that happened almost immediately afterwards, I wanted to put it up to help people with grief. So, it will be here for now.
Last month, actress Hayden Panettiere passed away at the age of 36, five days before her birthday. Though not a household name, she was a very prominent actress who has done a lot of work during her career both on screen and voice acting. Many people were upset by her death, myself included, especially since she left the world so young.
Her death continues a trend of celebrity deaths that have gotten a lot of attention recently. A lot of different actors have passed away in the past couple decades and it’s always sad to hear about it when it happens. For some, it’s not too surprising as they get older and eventually pass away. For others, it’s especially surprising because they leave surprisingly young. Even more go in ways that seem completely unfair and make their deaths all the more tragic. Regardless, the death of any person is a loss and finding out they are no longer with us hurts.
There is a worthwhile question though as to why people feel the need to mourn or comment when famous people die. After all, we didn’t know them personally and they weren’t a direct part of our lives. So why should we mourn them more than any other stranger?
The simple answer is because they had an impact on us. Everyone can think of a time when some piece of fiction touched them or helped them in some way. From watching shows to get us through sad times to going to the movies for celebration to getting up on Saturday morning to watch the good guys defeat evil and learn from their example, fiction always has the potential to impact us more than just as mindless entertainment. So it becomes a part of our struggles and joys just as much as anything else.
It’s not just a selfish or loneliness thing either. Plenty of memories are shared with friends watching movies or playing games together. After all, plenty of guys take their dates to the theater, plenty of kids watch shows with their friends, and plenty of coworkers argue over some video game they both played for that reason. So the various actors or content makers play a part in our social time and making those memories.
When someone involved with it passes away, we are impacted in two ways. First, it’s like losing someone we know. Sure, the relationship is transactional, but they were still a part of our time and made it better. So when they die, it’s like losing a friend, or at least an acquaintance.
Second, it reminds us of those memories of the time we spent enjoying their work and that it is all truly over. In part, when we say goodbye to them, we are saying goodbye to the memories they gave us as well. So we grieve that piece of us just as much as the person.
The truth is that when someone like that passes, it both brings back those memories and reminds us that they’re over. It speaks to the impact one person can have just by doing a good job or putting on a good show. So that’s why storytelling and acting get such attention in society.
For Hayden Panettiere, she left behind a worthwhile career. She was in a variety of significant animated films like A Bug’s Life, Pixar’s second film, and Dinosaur, Disney’s first CGI animated film. She was in more prominent shows like Nashville or Heroes, as well as fan favorite films like Ice Princess and a Bring It On sequel. Fans will remember her for the joy those stories brought, and the volume of her work shows how big her impact was during her life.
For me though, I remember her most from video games. One of my first experiences with her work was through Kingdom Hearts where she played the protagonist’s love interest, Kairi. That game series alone was one of my favorites and defined a key part of my childhood.
In my spare time, I like to play the piano and my wife got me a copy of the music from those games for our one year anniversary. Since I got that book, I started playing more and more until I started playing at least one song from it nightly. When I play it, I get to go back to my childhood where I’m alongside my favorite Disney characters and taking a stand against darkness. She was a part of what made that game so fun and years later why I started playing the piano so regularly. It’s crazy to think about how one piece of fiction can leave an impression on someone so thoroughly even years later.
Then there was Until Dawn where she played Sam, one of the lead protagonists. It was a game that redefined narrative driven games and provided hours of entertainment because of the ability to change outcomes based on player choices. From watching countless Let’s Players rage at their mistakes to playing it myself countless times, the game provided countless hours of joy.
However, the game alone wasn’t what made it fun. Because of either its popularity or its impact, everyone who played video games loved it in one way or another. Plenty of friends, coworkers, and strangers played it and thus we all had something to talk about. So that game gave us something to bond over, regardless of how well we knew each other.
So that’s really why we connect with celebrities we don’t personally. The work they leave behind can change us when done well and provide connection under the right circumstances. It’s no surprise, then, that we grieve when they leave us just like an acquaintance.
Hayden didn’t have the easiest life. From a rough experience in Hollywood to domestic abuse to the loss of her family, she had a life most people don’t envy. She left behind a daughter whom she never felt she could mother properly yet still brought into the world. So her passing is all the more tragic.
Yet, she left behind a legacy and touched many people who are all grateful for what she did and left behind. So, as we mourn her, let us be grateful for her and honor legacy by trying to do the same for others. May she rest in peace, as all people will when the time comes
