A Fantastic Weekend

            I am genuinely very blessed to have a wonderful family.  From my trail blazing sister to my laid-back and intelligent youngest brother to my driven and passionate other brother to my very well organized and caring mother to my moral and devoted father, I grew up with a great assortment of people.  So this past weekend I got to spend a lovely weekend with my fantastic family (minus Cal).  Overall, I got to do many great things with them all and wanted to share it with everyone.  However, there was too much to confine to Facebook posts so I thought the blogposts would be far more efficient.

            I had a networking event in Chicago hosted by SPEA that I had attended on Thursday.  As a result, I went back home where it would be easier to get from Syracuse to Chicago.  Once I got home, I had dinner with my parents and my youngest brother Cameron at the Sleepy Owl restaurant.  I hadn’t eaten there since my confirmation (I didn’t like that place as much growing up) so it was quite the experience to return.  Honestly, the food was good, it was nice to catch up, and I had a good time with everyone.

            The following morning, dad drove me out to the train station in South Bend and I took it to Chicago.  I’d done that a couple of times (my first time of which was taking it with my youth group to the Chicago Art Museum in middle school) and it was significantly easier than driving on the streets of the city.  So I got to the city with no issues and was able to get to my hotel in time for the first day’s festivities.  I spent the day with other students and with people in the business world getting a feel for potential fields.  The experience of which I feel was quite beneficial.

            While in Chicago, I got an understanding of the skills needed in the Public Affairs world.  I also got to make some contacts that will be beneficial in the long run.  There were also some potential internship opportunities that I could put to good use for the summer to follow up on later.  This was an important event that gave me a feel for where I might be going with my career.  That did give me some optimism about future opportunities.

            After I got back on Friday, my parents, Cam, and I were headed to Michigan.  We had gotten tickets to see Wicked and I was really excited.  This was my first professional production of a Broadway show that I had never seen at a local theater back home or at a high school.  To say the least, I was excited.  I had listened to the album a bunch so I was prepared for it.

            I’d wanted to see it for a while.  My paternal grandmother had seen it in Chicago and loved it.  She had talked about it when she had visited us/we visited her so I had gotten the gist of the musical’s plot.  This had given me a strong desire to see it.  Of course, she had seen it when I was in middle school so this was the fulfillment of a long term desire and in a way a dream come true.

            To sum up the story: the musical Wicked is a musical prequel to the Wizard of Oz from the perspective of the Wicked Witch of the West.  The audience sees some of her childhood, her years in school and those spent with Galinda, the good witch of the North (based on the film’s universe).  I’m not going to give anything away, but it had a lot of interesting twists and turns that forever changed how I will see all future interpretations of the Wizard of Oz.  Interestingly enough, the song “Wonderful” from the musical was what I picked as the theme for Ohio Governor John Kasich’s bid for President.

            The musical was fantastic and we all loved it.  We couldn’t stop talking about it afterwards and everything in it.  During the trip home, our ride was filled with discussions of our favorite songs, characters, and everything else.  The music was great, the story was great, everything was great.  It was an experience I won’t easily forget.

            So the following day I mostly studied.  I had a test the Monday after the weekend so I spent the afternoon studying for that.  I also had lunch with my mom at the Root Beer Stand (or Shopoff’s Drive-In) that afternoon.  We discussed her work, things around town, and the musical so that was nice as always.  Also, Shopoff’s is always super cheap which is something I’ve come to appreciate because it makes every other place look expensive by comparison.

            Later that night, I went to Mass.  Dad had some things to deal with at work so I had to lector on his behalf.  It was nice to lector again at my home church as I had missed it.  Cameron was an altar server as well so we got to be involved with the mass’s procession.  I also sat next to my mom and sister Meg so it was quite enjoyable.

            After Mass, I took Cam to see the IT remake.  He’d seen the original and was really curious about the new one so I was happy to take him and watch it my third time.  As always, it was scary (less scary than the first time, scarier than the second time) so I definitely had a good time.  However, Cam’s reactions were always the greatest.  During the film, whenever somethings scary was about to happen he would say “Don’t do it, don’t do it!” and literally jumped out of his seat at one point.

            This weekend actually gave me time to reflect on my relationship with my brother.  There’s a ten-year age difference between Cam and I which can be a hard gap to bridge.  However, more recently we’ve talking a lot more about things that we’ve been interested in like WWII, Batman, IT, Wicked, and more so we’ve been getting closer.  It’s nice to talk to him about those things and fun to spend time with him.  Also, he’s about the only guy I can drag to see films so that’s always fun.

            However, he’s also doing things earlier than I did as well.  He saw a Broadway musical before I did, an R-rated film in theaters before me, and I’ve already given him permission to watch an M-rated game which means he’s one year younger than when I could.  Of course, he can definitely handle that and I’m happy he has those opportunities.  It’s interesting to see though where he’s going and to share those experiences with him.  Cam’s already doing well in school and various chess tournaments so I am excited to see where the road takes him.

            Speaking of M games, it’s interested to see Cam’s ready for that while Meg clearly didn’t used to be.  At one point many years ago, Call of Duty (COD) was really popular with her friends so she figured she should play it as well.  I said she wasn’t ready for it, but she insisted.  So I made her a deal: if she could play Resident Evil: Zero, the tamest M game I could think of, with no problems, then she was ready for COD.  After watching the opening cut scene, she decided it wasn’t worth it (though to be fair, I think she was two years younger than Cam is now).

            The final day, my mom, Meg, Cam, and I went to a place I enjoyed as a child: Fashion Farm.  It was a sort of pumpkin showcase where they would dress up pumpkins as famous people.  There were also hay and corn mazes as well which I always enjoyed.  Also, it was a great opportunity to get pumpkin themed food like Pumpkin donuts and ice cream.  So it was a good time.

            Unfortunately, the quality of the place has deteriorated in the past few years.  The pumpkin statues weren’t as impressive, the corn maze no longer has real corn, and they got rid of the dark maze which was probably the best of the three mazes.  My family and I still had a great time of course and I’d go again, but all that was sad to see.  Also, the saddest thing was they didn’t even have a pumpkin character for the jail cell this year.

            Afterwards, the four of us went to see the play Agatha Christie’s Mouse Trap at the Round Barn Theater.  It was a great play as always and I enjoyed every second of it.  Essentially, it’s a who done it where there is an investigation of a mysterious murder in the vicinity of a hotel.  It was really intense and really funny (and the murder was my sister’s second guess).  Interestingly enough, the actors made the audience take a pledge to not spoil the ending, but I feel I can’t hold it in and just need to spoil it for everyone: there was indeed an ending.

            After that, I drove home.  I bid farewell to everyone and thanked them for a fantastic weekend.  I really enjoyed being with them all and it was great to be with them.  It was a great weekend and I look forward to when we spend time together again.  So until then, I eagerly await what we do next.

Unwanted Thoughts on Protesting the Flag

            I’m going to start off by saying I really do not care about this topic as there are far more important things going on in the universe.  For example, the US debt just hit $20 trillion, Angela Merkel just got a fourth term as German chancellor, classes are busy as ever, and I’ve started writing again.  However, my news feed is being barraged with people arguing or giving their thoughts on the recent player protests where some aren’t standing for the national anthem and I find myself both annoyed by it and having trouble not responding to it because I feel a need to always give my thoughts on everything (which is a problem).  So instead of responding to it, I’m just going to make a post here with my thoughts and then get on with it.  To sum up: it is usually a bad idea to protest the flag or the national anthem or any other symbol of patriotism because it loses the people who care about it without winning anyone over.

            From my experience, there are two types of people on the flag issue: those who don’t care either way and those who don’t want the flag protested. I haven’t seen anyone out there who is openly saying “YEAH, DOWN WITH THE FLAG!!!  LET’S FLIP IT THE BIRD EVERYTIME WE WALK BY IT!!!” so that group doesn’t really seem to exist.  In general, those who do protest it by kneeling during the national anthem, burn it, or otherwise, usually do so as a method of voicing their frustration towards other issues in American society.  This is significantly different from the debate over the Confederate moments as proponents actually debate the merit of those monuments whereas here it is about what the image represents.  The problem is that this is largely lost on supporters of the flag as they view it as an attack on what the flag represents: the country, the constitution, etc.

            Throughout history, there have been protests against the flag (such as during the Viet Nam War, the Iraq War, etc.) where it has been burned, defamed, or otherwise in opposition to US policy.  There has been much debate over this and the Supreme Court has held that this is protected by the first amendment, but usually the protesting of the flag has sparked pure backlash.  Objectively, there is a segment of the country that does take it as a symbol of what America stands for (or should stand for) so going after it is deemed as an attack on the country more than anything else.  Though these statements are probably unfair, based on the aforementioned logic it should come as no surprise that those who do protest symbols like the flag are accused of “hating America.”  Inevitably, the message is lost and the action comes across as an insult.

            Since the act comes across as an insult, the average protester will lose the person they make angry.  As was noted by Dale Carnegie in the book “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” no one likes to be belittled or insulted so you are inevitably going to have people not take you seriously with that reaction.  Since there is a vocal group that does take the flag so seriously, this method becomes ineffective since it guarantees people won’t care what you have to say no matter how important you think it is and thus you’ve already lost them.  Also, as previously mentioned, the only other side is a group that doesn’t care about the protests period so you’re not really winning anyone over to replace the people you are losing.

            Taking a look at the issue the NFL players claim to be protesting in favor of, criminal justice cannot happen without conservative and liberal support.  Louisiana managed to pass ten laws on criminal justice reform despite having a Democratic governor and Republican legislature and in Illinois a bill aimed at helping previous offenders get a business license (which would reduce recidivism rates) was introduced by a Democrat and signed into law by a Republican governor.  As is the case with many issues, people need to come together to focus on the importance of the topic to get support.  However, the only things these protests seem to be doing is making criminal justice reform look bad and driving away a group of people.  Whether people are right or wrong to be upset, the blowback is going to turn people off to the issue.

            There are going to be responses to the argument I’m making.  Two I’ve already heard include “it’s not about the method, it’s about the ideas behind it,” and “everyone must do their part to protest so these celebrities should use their time to draw attention to more important topics.”  Well first, yes, it is about the method and that’s probably the most important part of advocacy.  I’ve worked in many campaigns so I know for a fact that if I had walked up to a potential voter and said “I don’t give a crap about your issues, vote for my guy,” I’d probably lose my candidate a vote.  To truly win people over, you have to reach out to them where they are.

            Going back to Carnegie and based on my own experiences, you are more likely to win people over or influence them by getting on their level.  Understanding where they’re coming from, making them feel like they’re important, addressing their concerns, and relating important issues to them is far more likely to win them over than anything else.  It also creates empathy as you begin to understand them more and why they feel that way.  It can help build connections despite differences.  In a country that believes itself to be horribly divided, this is would be very beneficial.

            As for the celebrity argument, movie stars, celebrities, etc. are usually really bad advocates for much of anything.  The average football player is going to be worth millions of dollars more than the average person.  Colin Kaepernick is estimated to have a net worth of about $22 million so he’s not really someone the average person will identify with.  Considering the fact that the average victim of police violence or problems with the criminal justice system is going to be dirt poor, he’s a bad representative of the people who are actually impacted.  As a result, people probably aren’t going to take his thoughts or the thoughts of other players all that seriously.

            In the grand scheme of things, most people don’t like being talked down to where they are.  The reason people don’t like it when famous people talk politics is because most of these people don’t experience the same problems the common man does to the same level.  Many people have to worry about providing for themselves, their kids, finding a job, etc. and that’s not a problem Hollywood or even Washington regularly experiences.  So when more prominent individuals like actors or politicians or singers try to tell people how to think, it comes across as elitist.  Considering the fact that none of the NFL players are really giving up anything besides having to be in a possibly uncomfortable position for a few minutes, they’re not sacrificing anything of note and probably won’t be taken seriously.

            If you truly want to win someone over, be their friend.  Just do what was said in a previous paragraph: get to know them, understand their perspective, empathize with them, and help them to see things for themselves.  People will always take people they know more seriously than some pundit on TV.  Case in point, there was a black man by the name of Daryl Davis who managed to get 200 people to leave the KKK by befriending them.  Building social capital can improve relations and bring people together.  That’s the only way to improve things.

            So as I said, the issue of the flag protesting isn’t all that important in the grand scheme of things.  Also, I do understand the importance of criminal justice reform as I have written about it quite a bit.  However, I find the issue to be overly divisive which would probably drive people away and make them less likely to take it seriously.  Constantly virtue signaling and going on about how important supposed values are without actually putting support behind it and reaching out to people where they are won’t go anywhere.  So if society truly does want to make things better, it has to promote empathy and understanding.