Why I Love Doing a St. Dymphna Chaplet with My Wife

For those unaware, I got married this past June.  I haven’t had time to really post on my blog about it, so this will be the first time it gets discussed here.  Suffice it to say, it’s been a pretty hectic experience, but also a very fulfilling and rewarding one.  For now though, I wanted to discuss one particular aspect of what’s been going on: our prayer life.

So, to start off with, why is it we pray together?  Well, I could talk about the benefits of it, like how couples who pray are more likely to stay together, or I could talk about marriage responsibilities, like how a priest I knew once told me “to marry someone is to say ‘I will get you to heaven’.”  However, while these are both true, the main purpose of why I like to pray is to help open my heart to God.  Christian Existentialist philosopher Soren Kierkegaard once said “The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays,” so I’ve taken that line to push me to to remember prayer should be done to open my heart to God’s plan.  If my wife and I pray together, I believe her and I will be what God intended us to be and meet the plan he has for us, more so than our own plan.

Back when we were dating, we did prayers together which helped us grow as a couple in our faith together.  So two things that became common were we would say a novena together and we would do a rosary, at least before we said goodbye.  Since getting married, we still do novenas, but getting ourselves to do the rosary has been harder.  Be it time, desire, or connection, those haven’t been there for us to do it consistently.  Still, prayer is still important so we couldn’t simply avoid it because of spiritual dryness, so I suggested we try something else.  So my wife suggested something I haven’t heard of before: the St. Dymphna Chaplet.

My wife has told me about St. Dymphna a lot before we got married, so I was aware of her.  She is the patron saint of those suffering for nervous and mental afflictions.  She was the daughter of a pagan king who, after the death of her Christian mother, went insane and tried to wed her.  When she ran away, she was hunted down, and murdered because she refused to return and marry him.  To this day, the town she was martyred in still cares for the mentally ill, something that’s increasingly relevant in the modern day and could probably be learned from.

We started doing that Chaplet a couple months ago and I’ve really connected with it.  It’s helped us grow together and in Faith.  For me personally though, I’ve felt a strong connection and wanted to share that connection to help maybe others find their prayer life.

I’ll start by breaking down what it is and how to do it, followed by why I like each part.  The Saint Dymphna bead is a small, rosary-like object, but multicolored with a different bead count.  There is a circle of beads of 15 beads, 5 red, 5 white, and 5 green.  There are 2 white beads connected to it on a thread that connect to either a St. Dymphna medal or crucifix.

The following with discuss how to do the St. Dymphna medal, and what it reminds me of each time I do it:

1. First white bead-an Our Father.

2. Second white bead-a Hail Mary, said specifically for the Pope’s intentions.  This last month’s intentions are for suicide prevention, an important cause which fits with the mental health theme of the Chaplet.

3. Five red beads-five Glory Be’s, representing St. Dymphna’s martyrdom.  Martyrdom is considered the supreme witness to God as it is the full on giving of one’s life in service to God.  When I think of St. Dympna’s martyrdom, I’m reminded that God asks of me my life.  That is to say, my mind, body, soul, and everything else.  I may not be called to give it up in the physical sense, but the thought reminds me that I need to offer all the faucets of my life.  So when I find myself in a place I don’t want to be or doing work I don’t want to do, I offer it up to him and remember my work and life are for him, and it reminds me that what I’m doing is important.

4. Five white beads-five Glory Be’s, representing St. Dymphna’s virginity.  This section is also extremely important as her virginity is what she was martyred for, which becomes a recurring theme in Christian history.   To go a bit deeper into it, Servant of God Fr. Luigi Giussani said that virginity allows for a greater possession of reality, deepening a relationship with Being, allowing a deeper relationship with God and truth.  It is in the sacrifice of the flesh that we grow closer to God and learn more about him and our relationship with his creation.  Virginity requires a sacrificing of the flesh in obedience to God’s law, which shows our love for him.  In rejecting her father’s sinful desires, St. Dymphna showed her love for and greater obedience to him than the world.  It reminds me why at times asceticism and avoiding my own desires when they are sinful is important: it keeps me away from things that are bad in the world and gives me both a better relationship with and understanding of God.

5. Five green beads-five Glory Be’s, representing hope for relief from emotional and mental health disorders.  I know people who struggle with anxiety, depression, and other disorders (I won’t name them since that is their business, not mine).  That said, dealing with mental health disorders is not a fun experience, and doing the chaplets reminds me that there is hope for people struggling with problems that can’t always be understood or addressed by others.  So it reminds me there’s always hope, even if not currently.

6. There are fifteen Glory Be beads total, representing her 15 years of life

So ends the chaplet.

Since being married, my life has gone through a lot of changes.  Be it internally, externally, or in terms of what I can expect for the future.  It’s always been something that’s made me happy, but it’s not always been easy.

Doing this has helped me grow closer with my wife, to God, and helped us grow spiritually.  It’s also helped remind me of my life’s purpose and helped me find hope in the growing mental health epidemic.  For those reasons, I hope to keep doing it with my wife throughout our marriage.  I share to help promote St. Dymphna, her chaplet, and hope anyone reading this might find some relatability in it.  If you do, pray it yourself and maybe it will help your prayer life as well.  Regardless, I’m grateful to my wife for introducing me to all this, for our relationship, to God for everything he’s done for me, to St. Dymhna for her love for God, and all the joys in my life, and I hope that gratitude shall remain.

The Importance of Being Tadashi

(Spoilers for Big Hero 6 and Big Hero 6: the Series)

With the last blogpost being about Big Hero 6, it shouldn’t be too surprising another came up.  There was one character that stood out in the previous post whose impact on both the series and the film, while physically limited, is what defines the franchise and sets every event that happens throughout into motion.  That character is, of course, Tadashi Hamada, older brother of series protagonist Hiro Hamada and creator of series favorite, Baymax.

Though Tadashi died in the first act of the film, every action he took ended up defining the future for the characters in the series.  From the friends and family who lost him to the people that barely knew him but knew those closest to him, his life left an impact throughout the franchise that would go on to change the lives of many people throughout the city of San Fransokyo.  That shows one important role that is tragically often overlooked in modern society: the importance of a mentor or role model.

To understand Tadashi’s importance, we have to go into his and his brother’s backstory.  Both Hiro and Tadashi were orphaned at a young age (Hiro was three at the time) and raised by their aunt Cass.  Since she wasn’t married, Tadashi was the closest thing Hiro had to a male role model in his life.  That’s never an easy role for an older brother to play, especially in Hiro’s case as it meant it was hard for him to properly get discipline, so that led to a less than ideal upbringing, even if their aunt loved them very much.

Graduating high school at an early age, thirteen, also resulted in Hiro being disconnected from his peers, proven by his later acknowledging he sometimes wondered if he should have been doing things more normal for his age.  This resulted in him trying to find fun ways to use his talents, even if not always legal.  He found his outlet in the underground world of bot fighting where he used his genius to build robots for fighting against other people’s robots in pursuit of making a quick buck.  Unsurprisingly, doing something banned like that got him in trouble with the law.

Being a protective brother, Tadashi made it his priority to get Hiro out of that life.  That’s the reason he showed Hiro his school, to both give him a challenge and show him that there’s a better use for his talents.  In the end, it got Hiro out of a life that would have ruined him, introduced him to his future friends, and put them on the path to being superheroes.

            His other biggest action though that leaves an impact on his friends and family is also his most unfortunate.  During a school showcase, a fire breaks out that engulfs the building in which it’s being hosted.  Tadashi and Hiro manage to escape, but Tadashi’s professor and mentor, Professor Callahan, is inside of the building.  Without hesitation, Tadashi runs into the building to save his mentor, unable to do so and sacrificing himself in the process.

Obviously, his death leaves an impact on those closest to him.  Hiro ends up going into a depression and, throughout the series, the death of his brother serves as a hard subject for him long afterwards.  Yet the pain and grief of his absence is not the only thing he leaves behind.

Before his death, he made a robot healthcare companion, that being Baymax, who serves as a guide to Hiro.  This means Hiro still has both support and direction to his life directly from his older brother.  Baymax similarly is a product of Tadashi’s desire to help humanity since his design is to be the personal doctor his brother (among others) needs.  Meaning what Tadashi creates gets to outlive him and continue his work, both professionally and as a brother.

Over time, Tadashi’s legacy does get picked up by his brother.  Baymax’s maintenance and upgrading becomes Hiro’s responsibility and passion, meaning he gets to continue where his brother left off.  The fact the pair became superheroes also embodies Tadashi’s selflessness and virtue, meaning his impact transcends purely the physical.  It expands beyond his brother as well since his friends also join Baymax and Hiro in becoming Big Hero 6, meaning he changed all of their lives.  Inevitably, their team, Big Hero 6, becomes the saviors of the city, preventing its destruction, stopping villains, and inspiring others to do the same.  Yet none of it would have been possible without Tadashi, a character who only appeared for a third of the starting film and wasn’t there for the series.

Now, it may seem unnecessary to go into that much detail to set up the following point, but there was a reason to go that in depth about Tadashi and his impact.  Tadashi’s actions not only had an impact on his brother, but by extension everyone Hiro helped or saved; meaning his legacy and values changed his community even if he didn’t live to see that.  For that reason, Tadashi, as stated earlier, highlights the importance of being a mentor: your work will outlast you and be reflected by those who you help, serving as a role model to those you have taught as time progresses.

First, Christ said in John 5:19: “a son cannot do anything on his own, but only what he sees his father doing; for what he does, his son will do also.”  Though specifically, Christ was talking about doing the will of his father, this particular phrase reminds us that children emulate their parents (or teachers).  These are the people they trust, spend a lot of time with, and put faith in that they will lead them into maturity, so they are the ones who they will inevitably repeat, right or wrong.  Similarly, the father figure or role model has past experiences in life that have gotten to the point they are in, yet the child does not have such experiences since they new.  As a result, a son will try to be like his dad and put faith in his word to grow into maturity.

In Big Hero 6, Hiro doesn’t haven’t a father, or any male role model, so Tadashi has to fill that role.  When Tadashi plays a more active role in Hiro’s life, Hiro starts to follow in his footsteps, becoming interested in possibly going to the same school or continuing the work his brother has started when needed.  His brother shows him that he can do more than just make money on bot fights, and can actually do greater things helping people and applying his genius towards greater ideals than his immediate reality.  In other words, by giving him someone to emulate, Tadashi gave Hiro a role model just by being someone who cared and showing him a better path.  This is what ended up setting Hiro on the right path forward.

Second, The Rule of Saint Benedict also notes, “To be worthy of the task of governing a monastery, the abbot must always remember what his title signifies and act as a superior should.”  A role model or mentor has to remember his duty and the importance of their position, knowing that they have to carry out their role and do what is required of his position.  Everything they do will be emulated by their students, which is why they always need to do their best and know what their purpose serves.

We see a lot of Tadashi’s mistakes when trying to create Baymax as he tries, and fails repeatedly, to create a healthcare companion.  From constantly watching his attempts malfunction in the original movie, to having to get a friend in the series to help him work out Baymax’s healthcare matrix since it's not his area of study.  So his mistakes and lack of knowledge in certain fields remind us that he’s hardly a perfect human being.  Yet he never stops trying and is willing to ask for help because he never loses sight of why he’s doing his work.

Part of the reason he’s making a healthcare companion is the wellbeing of his brother and, by extension, people like his brother or the general populace.  This gives him a drive to never stop trying and to keep doing his work because he understands its importance.  These same principles are why he’s willing to run into a burning building to save his professor.  As for Hiro, these values are what he reflects and why he also keeps doing what needs done as he tries to emulate his mentor/role model, his brother.

There’s a misunderstanding that great people are people who are very physically strong or have great achievements.  It’s not worthwhile ruining the reputation of people who either are strong or have done great things, but true strength usually comes more from the ability to face great odds or hardships.  Many of us know someone who is not famous, but willing to face great hardships regardless of the odds, and we usually respect them more than your average celebrity.

For Tadashi, the values he shows are what Hiro does and the image he seeks to become throughout the series.  Hiro has his own abilities, but what Tadashi can do or tries to do shows Hiro what he can do as well.  From self-sacrifice to admitting he can’t do everything, these are values that get Hiro through his journeys and struggles.  So going further than just the immediate impact he had on his brother, Tadashi showed Hiro how to face his own demons even if they were different than Tadashi’s.

Which bring us to our final point.  Saint Paul VI notes “Every mother is like Moses. She does not enter the promised land. She prepares a world she will not see.“  Though this is specifically dedicated to motherhood, it is also true for teachers and mentors.  They may not see the accomplishments of their students, but those can still exist.

Tadashi doesn’t get to see all the work his brother does, but without him, Hiro never would have done even a fraction of the things he was capable of throughout the film or series.  Hiro never would have created the team, never would have saved the city (multiple times), and never would have rehabilitated several of his villains.  The world was made better by Tadashi being in it, and yet he never got to see how far the impact he had on the one person he needed to save the most.

In the final episode of Season 2 for the series, Hiro says “I used to think that having a legacy just meant that people remembered you.  But now, I realize it's more than that.  It's when the things that are important to you live on in the people who loved you.  And what was most important to my big brother was helping others.  He believed that there's good in this world and that it's worth fighting for.  He knew that everyone was capable of being someone's hero.  The last words Tadashi said to me were, ‘Someone has to help.’  Even though he's gone, Tadashi is still helping me every day.  Tadashi wants us all to help.  And I'm going to try.  And, uh, I hope you'll join me.”

This is, in summation, the reason why role models and mentors are so important.  It is because they give a guiding light to people who need that direction, even if they never truly get to see their impact.  Being that guiding light shows countless people the meaning of life, how to improve, and helps them better understand their potential.  Without a true mentor, a person has no direction and will not become much of anything.  Yet the mentor, like Tadashi, gets to help people not only continue their work, but understand the world, and face their own demons in ways that will make the world a better place.

As we reflect on the impact a person can have on others, we shouldn’t forget that that’s why our own work matters as well.  Whether we realize it or not, our behavior will be emulated by the people who respect us, and it will outlast us.  For that reason, it’s why we should never stop doing our best and improving.  Whether we realize it or not, our work can and often will have an impact we don’t see on other people.  One day, we may get an apprentice and not realize it, or we will become parents.  Regardless, never forget that our work will impact the world, even if small, and we should use it as an opportunity to be grateful for the people who have gotten us to where we are.  For like Tadashi, they won’t be around forever, like we won’t either.

Why I Love Big Hero 6 (the series)

(Minor Spoilers for the film and the series)

So I finally finished watching the entirety of Big Hero 6: The Series (for the third time).  Most people are familiar with the film, but it did actually get a spinoff series on Disney XD.  Personally, I found the series to be better than the movie as it fleshed out the film’s world and characters in ways that the film didn’t, which made it a delight to watch.  However, there is something about it that makes me appreciate it a lot more than many shows or films I see in the modern day.

Now, the series itself is pretty good.  It follows a large cast of superhero college students with unique personalities while one in particular, Hiro Hamada, takes the main focus.  Each character gets more development and focus than they did in the film, but the heart of the story is still Hiro and his robotic friend, Baymax.  There’s a variety of new characters as well, such as the school they all attend’s dean and Hiro’s school rival, who hates him but loves the superhero team they’re secretly in, and all the new characters are quite enjoyable in how they relate to the main cast.

The overall plot is pretty straightforward.  Leaving off from the end of the film, the protagonists get to continue their superhero work after taking down Yokai while balancing their school lives, or even seeing intersections between the two as projects they may be working on end up being related to a potential villain’s plan.  Being a show for kids, each episode usually has a moral, such as dealing with bullies or emotional expression.  Unfortunately, I didn’t find the non-main villains particularly compelling, but I know other fans of the series that quite enjoy them, so that might be a matter of personal taste.  Overall, it’s a fun superhero show that knows exactly what it is, and does it very well.

The reason it sticks out to me though, as much as it does, is a lot of the theming.  Since it does follow Hiro, a lot of it does follow his need for rules and limits.  Being a super genius at the age of 14, there are things that he can do incredibly well, at an even earlier age than his peers, and that makes it hard for him to relate to other people when often there’s reason for him to believe he knows better.  It would be uncharitable to call him a narcissist, but this does lead towards feelings of superiority and pride that do often get him in trouble.

The result is that a lot of the focus from Season 1 is about his needs for limits.  The main villain has rejected the idea that he needs limits, believing he can do whatever he wants regardless of the consequences as long as he deems his goal as good, and Hiro often faces that temptation throughout the series.  Yet throughout the series, Hiro has to keep rejecting that temptation because when he doesn’t, problems inevitably befall him.

What truly keeps Hiro on the path towards good is his brother, Tadashi (who died in the film), and the relationship he has with his friends, especially Baymax, who was his brother’s creation.  His brother gave him someone to emulate, a role model, which instilled in him a desire to do good and help others, while Baymax continues to impart wisdom from what Tadashi programmed him to do.  His friends also help keep him in line by giving him needed reality checks and keeping him in the present as opposed to completely withdrawing into his own head.  Finally, the dean instills in him the need to keep limits on what he can and can’t do, which constantly pushes him to keep his desires in check, even when operating under the best of intentions.  That all provides Hiro a lot of balance he definitely needs which gets him back on the right track, even when he stumbles.

At the heart of it all, that’s why I really love this series.  It tells us that not all of our impulses are good, that there’s a healthy need to respect authority (they got to their position for a reason), and that we need people in our lives if we want to grow.  In short, it is a reminder of the need for community and that we have to keep our priorities straight.  I find that compelling in the modern day.

After all, a lot of the more prominently marketed films of the last decade from major companies (including Big Hero 6’s owner Disney) usually tend to lean against those ideas.  There’s no shortage of films where the protagonist actually rejects the guidance of the mentor and totally outperforms everyone they know with limited guidance or training because they just know better.  Examples include Captain Marvel, The Last Jedi, and just about anything involving post-Joker relationship Harley Quinn.  In a sea of media seeking “empowerment,” an empowerment that rejects both tradition and self-denial, it’s nice to see a show that veers hard in the opposite direction.

For that reason, Big Hero 6 connected with me at a time when society is pushing people towards unhealthy disconnect with their fellow men.  It stays true to themes of community, friendship, and obedience when those are things increasingly overlooked in media.  It brings a smile to my face every time I think of the characters, and makes me excited to possibly watch it again.  If you’re interested, or at least just want more of the movie, I’d say give it a watch because you’re in for a treat.

Ranking Nine Separate Christmas Carols

I watched 8 Christmas Carols this holiday season and was asked to rank them so I’m putting this here: 

 8. Bah Humduck: a shortened rendition of a Christmas Carol starring the Looney Tunes. It misses the point of the original story a lot, but the jokes were pretty hilarious. I could see myself watching this one again because it made me laugh, but as an adaptation, it’s not a good introduction to a Christmas Carol.

7. Disney’s A Christmas Carol starring Jim Carrey: it’s a decent enough adaptation of the original story, but doesn’t really do anything new that made it feel like it needed to exist. There are some interesting ideas from an animation standpoint, but the film could have been better. 

6. An American Christmas Carol: a made for TV movie starring the Fonz from Happy Days as not Scrooge (at the age of 39). It’s a pretty good adaptation of the story that has some heart in it, but is a bit over the top in its execution of the emotions. There were a couple of scenes I really liked, but don’t feel I’ll revisit this one again. 

5. Mickey Mouse in a Christmas Carol: this one is fantastic because it is able shrink the story down to roughly half an hour without sacrificing the film’s heart. That’s not an easy feat which alone makes it impressive. The jokes are funny, and the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come is one of the most memorable of any Christmas Carol adaptation. 

4. Scrooged: the most underrated Christmas Carol adaptation I know of, Bill Murray is just hilarious in the film and its satirization of the TV industry is pretty great. So are most of the smaller characters, from its takes on the ghosts and Tiny Tim, to a shotgun toting Bobcat Goldthwaite going postal in a tv studio. I love watching it every year. 

3. George C. Scott’s Christmas Carol: I think this one is the ideal in color adaptation. The portrayal of Scrooge humanizes him in such a way that makes him relatable. Scott’s portrayal serves as a reminder of Scrooge’s humanity and that any person can lose sight of what’s important under the wrong circumstances. Also, it’s nice to see David Warner play a good guy since he normally played bad guys (and hated it) so it was an opportunity to extend his range. 

2. A Christmas Carol starring Alastair Sim: I view this as the best adaptation. Being made in the 50s, there’s a simplicity to it most Christmas Carol adaptations don’t share. The black and white helps make it feel at home alongside great Christmas movies like Wonderful Life and Holiday Inn, the expansion of Scrooge’s backstory like crying over his sister’s death and Marley trying to repent on his deathbed increases its emotional depth, and the performances of everyone involved are excellent.  All that together is, for me, what elevates it to perfection. It’s a must watch for all. 

1. The Muppets Christmas Carol: though not as good as the last two, it still holds a special place in my heart. Each Muppet is perfectly cast, almost every scene is insanely memorable, and the music is fun to sing, even when not watching. The film is probably, for me, the most memorable and a perfect introduction to the story, as well as just a great adaptation for all ages.

Update:  I was asked to watch one more Christmas Carol by a good friend so I thought I'd include it in this updated List.

5.5 1971 animated Christmas Carol: it's an impressive animated adaptation from an underrated animator.  This version captures the majority of the story in thirty minutes, and is animated by Richard Williams, the animator that gave us Who Framed Roger Rabbit.  It was also produced by Chuck Jones who was probably the most prolific Looney Tunes animator who gave us the Grinch.  The animation style is impressive, Alastair Sim reprising Scrooge was quite lovely, and it was fun to watch even after watching the past eight.  However, I didn't connect with it as much as my mother or my friend did, which likely has to do with not having grown up with it.  Was happy to see it, but I would probably only watch it again with a friend.  For those of you who haven't seen it yet though, please do watch it free on YouTube.